I want to walk on stilts...naked
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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