I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
