Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
