Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
