There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
