I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize