oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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