watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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