Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
