I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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