return my video game
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
