She is in my trunk
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
