new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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