I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm like, not good at living.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
