I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Never joke about your clitoris.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
