I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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