I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
