So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We had sex on a dog bed..
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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