Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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