Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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