went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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