my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
