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Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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