im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
