Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize