Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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