So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
