were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
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At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
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I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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