you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize