its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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