69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
