they said they heard you say put it in my butt
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
