Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
