Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize