I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
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I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
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I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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