help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
