He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
