I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
