YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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