I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
This is the high leading the old right now
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
