Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
