Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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