they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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