You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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