So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
