My cat gives me a boner
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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