one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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