You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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