my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
