I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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