It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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