getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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