You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I want to be your penis for a week.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
