have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
