he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
