don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
