My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I need to calm my uterus...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
