no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
