Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize