Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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