did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
