Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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